Sunday, September 12, 2010

truths for mature humans

I usually don't post forwards / jokes from friends, but this one, has many everyday truths to it. Like # 2, 13, 16 and 25, happens every so often, with me.

And I'd so appreciate if Google could truly fix # 20. And #26 goes out to all my friends, the Sharjawies in rush hour! Oh! #30 the truth about NYC!

What are your everyday truths? :D

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my *** everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first.

14 comments:

hemlock said...

16. most definitely 16. whatta waste!

and 23. i never thought i would be that person, but i am, post BB.

Just Plain Tired said...

A lot of truths revealed in that list. Pretty amusing. :)

i*maginate said...

Rosh, nice post, made me laugh. mature humans - is there really such a thing? HAHA !!! BYE for now, I'm jetting off to a far-away land...AGAIN :) It's called escaping work with mature humans! (Sarcasm font needed...)

rosh said...

Hems, #16? Get outta here :)

I hate texting..coz..WHY would I wanna text, when I can place a CALL. Plus, I don't know how to text. Like I really don't know how to text...confusing, very.

JPT - welcome :)

Princess: it's an Oxymoron ha! See in Neverland, I'm there often :)

hemlock said...

Totally yo. The day I don't get a number on beach road - I feel like there's no purpose to my existence. My soul feeds on compliments - validation baby ;)

As for calling. Umm. I can't do conversations on the phone. If I wanted to talk to you, I'd be in your face doing it. Not over the phone. Making faces, yawning. The works.

Leanne Journey Again said...

I LOVE this entire list! :) I'm sooo going to re-post it somewhere!

Counseling Services CA said...

i like #2 though all are good but #2 connects me more...really a nice post buddy......

MarĂ­a said...

I've found by chance your blog and i like it!
31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
funny and true!

Rationality said...

Hello;
LOL at your comments!
I had never dressed up to satisfy people around.
I love to look nice all the time not only by the out fits but also by keep smiling, so I don't really care if someone important saw me or not as long as I consider myself the one who deserves to look neat. That is what my father taught me and you don't know how much he suffers teaching me especially when it comes to smile when I’m not in mood! :D

#25 keeps asking WHAT makes me feel like an idiot and it’s not good to make others get peeved by that word plus nodding without understanding is much worse lol. *No Solution*!

i*maginate said...

rosh

reading 32 to 17 now am back from hols makes much better sense.

xxx i*

rosh said...

Thanks Leanne.

Welcome to my blog Maria. I have a 31, everyday of the week! :)

LOL Rationality, I think it's part in humour, and well, part true :) I mean, would you ratherNOT look your best IF (big fat IF), by chance you ran into someone you have / had a crush..umm.. the lovely Steffi Graf? :)

I agree, a smile does it better than anything else! And #25, hell, it is! :) And what makes it worse, is the fact, when other folks sitting on the table continue discussing / debating the content - the portion of the conversation you were unable to understand. I feel so lost, so I smile / nod until, caught in a catch 22 ha!

i* LOL! true that!

i*maginate said...

Haha! Truth? Here is one: I got myself some Chanel make-up. Yeehah Parisian chic in Dubai! ;-) This post is really making me smile! SMILE YOU ARE IN SHARJAH

Faisal Haji said...

I know that 15 and 31 always applies to me. 15 is very annoying, its like the person is taking it personally because you didn't answer the phone and was offended or something

Jayne said...

#4 - oh how I'd love that! Somehow, typing italics just doesn't have the same effect!
#5 - as much as I thought Martha Stewart was a supercilious bitch, I picked up 2 very handy hints from her; how to fold a fitted sheet (hah!) & when buying crockery, always buy white - no one will take the time to notice stuff doesn't actually match :-)