Monday, July 30, 2007

decisions decisions

I've been trying to arrive at a decision over the past 2 weeks. I've got to make a firm decision and a response later this week. However, I'm just unable to do so, or think straight with my head. The heart butts in and strews all sorts of emotions into the process. I have to admit, I like thoughts from the heart - because, when I think about what coulda, shoulda, woulda happen - the ones from the heart seem much more appeasing - at least for a while. However, in comes the mind (you know like those nuns we had in high school) preaching away the potential realities. Both sides make valid points, I guess I sort of want to have the positives from both - have the cake and eat it too? Come on people, what is the point of having a New York cheesecake if you cannot eat it huh?

Confession: most often I suck at making decisions, I'm NO good at it. Usually sit on the fence, and someone/something just pushes me over. This is something I really need to work on, put on a brave face, and take that darn plunge. I'm upset at my inability to make firm decisions, because most often, I choose an option and backtrack, or start thinking on the "what if's" to possibly retract - arrrgh!

When hit with similar trying times, I usually ring up friends (spread across the globe), and age them a decade or two with my talk. It comes to a point, wherein I have some folks plead mercy. The ones who know me too well usually jump ship first -whilst the ones whom I can always count on continue to stick with me & my stress, for a quest :)

Anyhooo, I've got time until this weekend. I hope whatever I choose to do, or "whatever happens, happens for the better". It's funny, because this phrase is the motto of my life - yet, so out of reach in reality?

Yalla, time to call my shrink.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

I've been tagged - 10 simple pleasures

Aight - I've been tagged by a princess – i*maginate, but ofcourse. Cannot disobey royal requests, hence 10 simple pleasures are -

1. evening tea & shisha with childhood friends, reminiscing growing memoirs - being in each other's company totally oblivious to the supersonic changes around us.

2. long drives into Hatta/Khorfakan and Oman in the winter with friends.

3. going for a run in my neighbourhood - staring at the trees & leaves swaying to the wind, reminding myself the number of times I have walked/ran past these trees, the flowers - the neighbourhood park and the very homes over the decades.

4. sitting at starbucks in nyc on a saturday evening, with a good book, my ipod, zero worries and the pleasure to afford a coffee under $2 in Manhattan - when everything else costs an arm, leg and your first born.

5. "dining" on fruit cocktails, other heavenly beverages and loads of shawarmas at Jabal Al Noor with friends.

6. sitting with mom & dad in the garden - just being in their presence, seeing them age, having those silent & “connected” moments with them - holding my nephew and see my childhood gone by, in his eyes.

7. strolling around my mom's garden, staring at her roses - her flowers, plants and this one particular tree, she planted about 23 years ago (which she treats like her own child)

8. the smiles on Ahmed's face - each time my dad or I’ve tipped him over the years (Ahmed, passed away last Feb, he was our laundry man since time immemorial, 34 years to be precise).

9. staring out into my mom’s garden from my bedroom window – and hear her call for supper.

10. lone drives into the desert in my dad’s SUV on a winter afternoon - just sitting on the sand, watch the sunset - just being with the sand, the blue sky, the chilly desert wind, a faint call for prayer faraway – the enigma of being home & the peace within.

Hmmmm who must I tag? oki – moi tag - inspire your mind & localexpat (muhahahaha!) – would love to tag Emirati, but I think he shall possibly drive a hummer over me instead :)