Monday, June 16, 2008

a post

Sometimes we try and write up intense thoughts & emotions within, and as easy as it may seem, it's actually not. However at times we sort of stumble on few simple words from fellow beings who probably are going through similar phases in life.

Came across this post at fellow blogger Yazan's blog. For me, personally, the simple words below capture much of the angst and melancholy within, especially the past couple of years in my life. Reading thru, I find bit of solace and some solitude. It's nice to be honest with yourself.

"I can't sleep until I'm too tired to open my eyes, and once I do, I never want to wake up. I have dreams of everything I wanted to do, and nightmares of everything I did.

I struggle to concentrate, I struggle, I truly, struggle to be interested in anyone, or anything around me.

I feel as homeless as can be. And it's choking me alive. There is nothing worse than this feeling of alienation from everything that used to be your home. This disconnection, this continuous state of denial. I think I've forgotten how to belong anymore."

8 comments:

Inspire Your Mind said...

Beautiful thoughts indeed.. this is called 'depression'..

We all go through it, I don't know why it is considered a disease.. a bit of depression is very much needed in fact so we can get in touch with our soul and reconsider our choices and decisions in this mysterious life..

Yazan said...

Rosh,
Amidst the "crowdedness" of ipods, marlboros, sunday sales and subway passes, the norm has become that we should co-exist with our depression, live with our disappointments and ignore the flickering in that left eye that's telling us everything is nit, actually, all fine.

These are not exactly the things I want to share on my blog, but I found myself right on that point of no-return of denial, I had to document that pain, lest I "forget" it.

Nonetheless, fortunately, relativity rules this small world of ours. And pain like happiness is, more than anything else, relative.

All the best from my stuffy little apartment in the far east. ;)

Oh, and btw, you wrote somwhere about how we had exactly the same profile pics? any proof? ;)

rosh said...

IYM, I agree. Am not sure they call it clinical depression - perhaps that's something quite serious? I think depression to an extent helps cleanse our soul and balance our thought process.

rosh said...

Yazan, welcome to my blog. May I say those are pretty mature thoughts from a 21 year old. I think you've captured it almost, perfectly well. Sah! relativity defines as well as set each of us apart - yet there is much commonality. Thanks and likewise -all the best to ya from the Apple :) lol proof eh? Let me say, there is a resemblance, at least of the side view, though, I think you are the better looker, so there :) keep well.

kaya said...

How exquisitely painful.
Any person who says that they dont have a day/days where nothing feels right, you are angry with everything, and nothing seems to go right.
The friends who are there in all your fun times, suddenly have become so busy that they dont have a second to spare to find out why YOU , who calls/sms's regularly have been quiet for a few days.
Its times like this when one really asks too many questions.
But the more you ask yourself, the more you find out. And sometimes too much truth can be a crippling thing.
heres wishing you warmer days of the heart.

AM said...

Disconnection ... yes it is painful. Combine it with loneliness, it can change around the most positive of them ...

rosh said...

Aww thanks Kaya-g, very very sweet of you :)

Hi AM: thanks for those kind words. I hear ya :)

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