Wednesday, October 03, 2007

thoughts.....

I am not sure what the tomorrows bring, hence suppose, we must simply take each day as it comes and be thankful for today? Wallah, I know, it's easier said than done, but we've got to try.

This is what got me thinking. Such announcements are not new, since they have propped up in the past, hence it's no secret to the hundreds who've lived in the GCC for many years/decades. However it's quite hard to reconcile and grasp. It's a sensitive topic for the citizens, as much as it is for folks like myself.

I speak from experience - as someone born and subsequently raised in one nation for the first 25 years of my life, I admit, the possibilities of an uncertain tomorrow has affected me in more ways than I'd want it to, and even though I've moved out of the UAE, live & own a home perhaps in the most happening city in the world, have fantastic friends and a career going - the feeling of *not* being home lingers on. It's like I try and wash it off and it's still there, I rinse and repeat, and it stays in me! Wish it'd just get out of my system, so I can go on with my life and be least affected given such news, however remotely possible such policies are.

At this very moment, if I had a choice, I'd let go, because am sick of being neither here nor there, kinda guy. I wrote this post a while back. Reading it, helps calm down. As much freedom and joy there is, living on your own, after a while it's equally hard being away from home.

Am not sure why am I even writing this post past midnight on a weekday - probably just venting away, before going to bed? Tomorrow is another day, shall see what another tomorrow brings - positive thoughts, positive events. Right now, tired & sleepy am off to bed. Good Night yall :)

ps: a huge *Shukran* to BuJ for his warm/understanding thoughts and an opportunity to vent.

5 comments:

BuJ said...

a huge 3afwan to you my friend :)

u know ur always welcome Rosh.

interesting post.. i wanna comment, but later when my mind is less cluttered... :)

have a good day, y'all.

BuJ said...

Now for a more detailed response...

Well my dear Rosh.. this topic is something I know a few things about too! Regardless of the cap or not.. people like us need to decide where to live their life because of a sense of belonging. Or the lack of it.

It's normal by the time one reaches the 30 mark to have quite a settled life in terms of property, job/career, friends but the longer term goals such as family are a bit harder to get by especially in today's extremely globalised world.

I think you have to make a decision and STICK by it. Either you return to the UAE soon (or start making plans to return) or you should sever all connections with the UAE and get it out of your mind.

This affects you on other levels as well which perhaps is not appropriate to mention here.

As long as you refer to the UAE as home then you will continue to suffer like this. Maybe you can think of the UAE as your hometown rather than just "home". "Home" is a much more powerful term, and is more inclusive.

I guess what it boils down to is that one cannot compromise on things like "job" and "family/home". Either you focus on your job and try to do your best on the family front, or you put the family first and then aim for whatever u can get in terms of jobs.

It's not the end of the world, but I think it all boils down to you needed to make a BIG decision.

:)

BuJ said...

oops.. typo.. the last sentence should read:


It's not the end of the world, but I think it all boils down to you needing to make a BIG decision.

rosh said...

Many thanks BuJ.

Hear every word you say - and pretty much concur with it all.

Sah! it does boil down to career/job and family/home. In terms of a balance and a level of acceptance, I know where I want it to be.

This past weekend, I went for a long drive into the countryside, away from the madness of this city - just drove by the lake, looked at those lovely cottages by the lake, kids playing , moms walking etc etc....and realized the longing for a family and home is so innate. It defines whom we are or have become.

You are correct, once we hit or cross 30, many things fall into perspective - and in the beginning, there is likely to be that tug between career and family, but as we mature, we shall realize family and a home is most important - because end of the day, a job is a job, something man made, however a family and the sense of home is irreplaceable. People lose their lives to save their homes and give up their lives for a loved one - it's almost heart wrenching to lose either.

As I was driving back from the lake, I realized, I've already been blessed with so much. Am just an average everyday guy, who had this opportunity to travel the world, live and work in multiple global cities and meet some wonderful people & cultures. Today, if I chose to stay back in NYC, the career opportunities are many fold. If I move back to the UAE - there is nothing I'd lose out on. However, the thought of cutting all ties with UAE is sort of horrendous to think about, at the moment.

I have faith in God, am sure he shall guide my troubled mind/heart to make the correct decision.

Once again, thank you for your kindest & understanding sentiments. Pray life continues to bring you the very best.

BuJ said...

Bless you ya Rosh :)
I'm sure you'll make the right decision at the right time.
It takes one to know one.

Salam :)