Like most men - I cannot show emotions from the heart, especially to my folks or most friends. Today, like most days, sitting at the big apple, I think of my folks. It is hard, sometimes very hard to be away from them - often each day away seem a mistake? There are times I hope to get on the next flight home - be with mom & dad forever. Sure, we'll have our difference of opinions and things can get quite intense at times and yes it does make me pretty sad & super mad when I get all upset with them. However I learn to reconcile and be mature - realize how much I care for them, how important they are and very insignificant everything else can be.
I have been thinking about mom a lot lately - thinking why haven't I hardly said to her, how much I value her presence in my life? How much I appreciate and am thankful for all that she has done for me. How sorry I am for not doing things her way - and not just because I've always wanted to live my life and "break free" - but because I wanted to learn & live - make real mistakes to experience life and discover myself - not have the luxury to live beneath her wings (even though I wish I could) and be protected from realities of life.
Dad may have made the big bucks, but mom who held us all together. She gave us our identity, protected us from all harm, she fought the battles - cared & have toiled for us. I cannot think of a moment without her in our lives. She has been so fair to even those who wronged her. She is capable of so much more in life, but never had opportunities to explore her potential.
Mom isn't keeping too well these days. I think of her every passing moment, I worry about her - and sometimes I find a tear or two passing down my cheek. However, everyday I say a prayer for her to get well - and though I am sure she shall recover soon enough, I wish I am with her at this moment - to attend to her needs, tell her how much she means in my life her & make her proud. I want her to know in her heart of hearts, that every passing moment she is in my thoughts & prayers. I love you mom - always.