Saturday, June 23, 2007

mom

Like most men - I cannot show emotions from the heart, especially to my folks or most friends. Today, like most days, sitting at the big apple, I think of my folks. It is hard, sometimes very hard to be away from them - often each day away seem a mistake? There are times I hope to get on the next flight home - be with mom & dad forever. Sure, we'll have our difference of opinions and things can get quite intense at times and yes it does make me pretty sad & super mad when I get all upset with them. However I learn to reconcile and be mature - realize how much I care for them, how important they are and very insignificant everything else can be.

I have been thinking about mom a lot lately - thinking why haven't I hardly said to her, how much I value her presence in my life? How much I appreciate and am thankful for all that she has done for me. How sorry I am for not doing things her way - and not just because I've always wanted to live my life and "break free" - but because I wanted to learn & live - make real mistakes to experience life and discover myself - not have the luxury to live beneath her wings (even though I wish I could) and be protected from realities of life.

Dad may have made the big bucks, but mom who held us all together. She gave us our identity, protected us from all harm, she fought the battles - cared & have toiled for us. I cannot think of a moment without her in our lives. She has been so fair to even those who wronged her. She is capable of so much more in life, but never had opportunities to explore her potential.

Mom isn't keeping too well these days. I think of her every passing moment, I worry about her - and sometimes I find a tear or two passing down my cheek. However, everyday I say a prayer for her to get well - and though I am sure she shall recover soon enough, I wish I am with her at this moment - to attend to her needs, tell her how much she means in my life her & make her proud. I want her to know in her heart of hearts, that every passing moment she is in my thoughts & prayers. I love you mom - always.

11 comments:

IYM said...

Rosh, pick up the phone; call your mom and tell her how much you value her presence in your life..
JUST DO IT

BuJ said...

wow.. a very from-the-heart post.. beautiful.

rosh said...

IYM - did it :) But couldn't bring myself to say those words - guess it's just a guy thing i.e not showing emotions. But I think my mom picked up the emotions from my tone.

BuJ - thanks ya raayal :) now I must get hold of that 6 pack beer!

IYM said...

Good that you called up your mom Rosh..
Time for me to call Mama tomorrow and maybe my dad as well..

IYM said...

I just didn't want to call her earlier this weekend so she wouldn't sence I wasn't feeling well.. she'll cry her heart out if she finds out I had a major sickness while away from her..
Hope your mom is feeling better now..

rosh said...

I realize that IYM - our parents can sense when something is not correct, and your mom would sense it all immediately.

My two cents, is to perhaps share it with your sister or your sister in law for some comfort and women talk. Don't tell your mom or dad, it could be nothing at all and they'd get so worked up.

You are in my prayers, and all shall be well. Enjoy the long weekend and make sure you set that appointment.

IYM said...

No no sharing with any family members, they're all big mouths..
My firends here are taking good care of me..
Thanks Rosh

i*maginate said...

Bless you, your mom, and all your family...=)

rosh said...

thanks i*..

Imaan On Ice said...

Nice post. And I thought that men not only was unable to TALK about feelings, but also WRITE about them. So, a big first step for u.

Lol.

//Imaan

Zara said...

hi
i recently came across your blog and was just looking for some information about life in dubai. I somehow found this post of yours. Your thoughts and emotions are so heartfelt and beautiful. Such wonderful words written from the heart about your mom, i hope they were expressed to her as well. It's very sweet of you.
I live in NY with my family that I do take for granted sometimes. (I sense you live in NY judging by you earlier post)