Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Big Apple Stay

Often it's weird & funny the incidents & experiences from travels. Below is an experience whilst on my first visit/stay at a holiday Inn in the Big Apple....

On a Sunday evening I check into the Holiday Inn - showered, had dinner - was about to hit the sack, when say around 10PM - I have a visitor (no not a woman) instead a huge fat New York City rodent – a rat.

It came from beneath the door and went underneath my bed. I freaked, called the reception, they sent some guy up to get rid of the rat and changed my room to Room 607!

Now get this, I get the keys to room# 607 - open the door – and to my horror & surprise see this big hairy ass guy, in his B'day suit out of the shower and(presumably) his wife sitting on the bed watching Television?

I am yelled at, I yell back - shut the door behind me and catch the elevator to the reception, give a piece of my mind to the poor soul at the font desk (who, simultaneously is getting it from the naked guy in 607 via the telephone). I am put up, in room 707 – however, hardly caught some sleep for fear of another "visitor"!

Did I mention the rate US$399.99 plus taxes/night – received zero comp for the horrors :(

To chin up, I wrote a casual poem (below) on the events. Welcome to big apple – I guess?


Big Apple Stay


rosh - he was on his bed,
rosh - sleeping the sleep of the dead,

HARK! suddenly, there was a sound, something was around,What was it?

could it be a girl, keen on a nocturnal tryst?
would rosh know what to do with her? Or would he just get pissed?

but wait – it was a female, thou not of the human kind,
was rosh paranoid enough that a rat would bump and grind?
or would he be afraid and let out a scream?

rosh rushed down to the reception, not just angry but hopping mad,

he swore and he yelled - what the f**k is going on here?
he had a phobia of rats, you could sense his fear....

" we're sorry sir" said the dude at reception,
"'tis never happened before" says he trying deception,

there was a priest there, quietly looking towards heaven,
and the receptionist says " Sir, we're giving you room 607"

so rosh, relief spread across his face,
grabs the keys and to his new room does race

he wants to go back to sleep, get some rest,
but little did he know that fate had one more test,

he uses the key to room 607 - opens the door
there's someone in the room, some guy and his whore

the girl's sitting on the bed, watching TV, probably porn
and the guy's just standing around, naked as the day he was born

a few seconds of silence, 't was a comical situation for sure
rosh recovered from his shock and slammed the door

he ran to the lift, wondering what kind of people this hotel housed
as he could see the naked guy was all aroused!

rosh was disgusted, he was appalled,
so he went down to reception and the manager he called

"That's the limit man" say rosh in a very pissed tone,
" Just a minute sir, it's your naked friend on the phone""

We apologize Sir, of course we'll change your room again""
Ok, but no rats and no naked guys or gals please - they're really a pain""

Very well sir, we regret the trouble caused, it's a pity,
but enjoy your stay and welcome to New York City""

thank you, i think I'll be fine"" say rosh
oh Sir, here's your bill -that'll be $ 399"


4 comments:

INSPIRE YOUR MIND said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.. very hilarious.. Oh God please have some mercy on me; I can't stop laughing..
Was the rat wearing some lipstick for you though ? any mini-langeries ?
I wish you were just 2 more minutes late to enter the second room; you would have watched life porno..LOL; then it would have been more fun for the hairy-ass guy..LOL
Reminds me of what happened when I was staying in a hotel at Orange-County; California for a course few years ago.. I upgraded myself to a 'nicer' room; and there was this 'locked' door between my room and the one next to me; and one weekend here comes my neighbour planning to have one-night stand kinda weekend.. given the woody door in between our rooms; I heard all of his phone conversations with the whores he was calling discussing what kinda f**k he desires..I got curious so I spent the night next to the door giggling and watching through the glass lense on my main door all the whores coming in; and yes there wasn't only one.. he would call one whore after the other; each one giving him a different 'Shahrayar' night.. the funny thing is that when he was on the phone with them (before their glorious arrival) he would express all of his work frustation and how people at work would think of him as a dysfunctional idiot and all.. poor guy; I'm sure he wasn't contributing to all the f**king as he wanted each whore to do certain thing to him !!
The story was totally different with the weekend after (I stayed at the hotel for 6 weeks).. there was this loving couple who were mad about each other..and again I couldn't help myself but stay behind the door curious of how this round will turn out to be.. romance and romance; passion and passion and while they were indulged (I sensed this by hearing the bed banging against the wall!) I had a bout of coughing (my Asthma).. they heard me and things went completely silent afterwards.. I guess I reuined their climax.. :) better do it in a cottage place next if you want some privacy.. :)

Hot Lemon& Honey said...

LOL, that was funny, how did you know it was a female.
LOL that was funny.

did you ask for compensation?

rosh said...

I hear you IYM - it's discomforting when you "know" there’s hanky/panky going on across the thin walls of your hotel room.

Can't tell you the number of times I've had to stuff my ears and/or pick up the phone and request the concierge to inform the "active" souls in the next room to bring it down a level or two - it's embarrasing you know :)

The last time I heard such action was during my stay at the Fairmount in Dubai. Never did I dream of coming across this in the UAE - but O heavens it was perhaps the MOST explicit verbiage and actions ever.

After that night, I peacefully checked into my parents home in SHJ - and don't mind driving thru the traffic to DXB at all ;)

INSPIRE YOUR MIND said...

I guess love exists everywhere even in Dubai.. let them express it the way they want..
Maybe they couldn't afford the more expensive but private Al Maha resort.. :)